~ DECEMBER 2021 ~ This week, Jana Hocking discovered something that should make singletons rejoice – and the coupled-up among us tremble with fear.
This week I discovered something that will make every singleton rejoice and every coupled-up person quiver with fear.
According to statistics, December is ‘Dump Month’ and more specifically, if you really want to hide in a cave for a day, December 11 is the day when couple are most likely to break up.
After a year of overthinking thanks to spending far too much time by ourselves during lockdown, we’re all having a real ponder about who and what we want to bring into the New Year.
Firstly, Christmas is a time where it’s likely you will meet each other’s parents. That in itself gives me slight anxiety. The judgement of one’s parents can be brutal. So we start wondering if this person is special enough to meet them, and whether our parents would be impressed.
Secondly, it turns out buying presents can really play with our heads. How much money are they worth spending on? Do you buy them something special like jewellery, or are you still at the “hey I bought you a board game” stage?
For those saving their pennies after a year of questionable job security, do you really want to spend a significant amount on someone you’re still not quite sure about?
Nothing like tight purse strings to really put a spotlight on your relationship.
Then we start looking towards the New Year. What do we want to leave in the bin fire that was 2021, and how do we make sure we bring our best selves into 2022?
If you’ve been fighting up a storm during lockdown, perhaps you’re ready to turn a new page and leave that drama behind. Sadly, for many couples in December, that means you’re likely to have one of those dreaded “It’s not you, it’s me” chats. Spoiler alert: It’s you. We’re just trying to soften the blow.
So what can you do to avoid being dumped? Well Simone said there are three things that will help you last the distance.
Give each other space
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you can give each other companionship and support as you each face life’s tricky moments. But it doesn’t have to be a full-time job. You also need to give each other space at times. Giving your partner space to breathe can sometimes bring you closer together in the long run.
When we spend 24/7 with each other, we can run out of things to say. If you go and have adventures on your own, it can be exciting to come back and discuss what happened in your day. So while you may feel the need to attach yourself more, take a deep breath and let go a little.
Let your partner be themselves. As Simone says: “If you want a puppy, buy a puppy!” You don’t need to train your partner or try to change them into something they’re not. Accept them for who they are and leave them the heck alone.
Sometimes we start fights over the smallest things, like a toilet seat being left up, or a dishwasher that wasn’t packed properly. All these fights add up and can be fatiguing. Save your battles for big things and let the small things slide.
Choose to do something different that you’ve never done before
Don’t get stuck in the same old routine, try new things. Whether it’s spicing things up in the bedroom or going on an adrenaline packed adventure. Do something out of your comfort zone and watch how it bonds you. You might scoff, but it’s actually science! Turns out moments of anxiety and adrenaline rushes can actually lead to sexual attraction.
So book in that skydiving adventure or invite them along to your first stand-up comedy night. Taking advantage of how the body transfers anxiety into sexual attraction, and having good time in the process, might just be the perfect date and could very well save your relationship!
Who knew being single in December could actually be a jolly good thing. Stay strong couples, you’re in for a bumpy ride!
Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking
Originally published as Jana Hocking on why couples break up on December 11