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Learning to Let Go of Past Relationships

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~ October 2021 ~ Whether it’s platonic, romantic or somewhere in between, relationships are learning experiences. From everyone, we keep something and carry it into the next. However, after a few failed relationships and learning experiences, I’ve come to the realization that we don’t always carry the best aspects of what we learned into our next relationship. Whether it’s a hit on our confidence, how much we trust others or whether to trust ourselves, what we learned sometimes does not materialize itself in the best way. So, I’ve learned something just as important as learning from your experiences: letting it go. 

Traumatic relationships or even difficult conversations can stay with you for years, or as long as it takes to process them. This makes moving on or future relationships much harder. Although there is no easy way to speed up the process, nor any cheat codes, sometimes it can help to just let it go. And yes, it’s a lot easier written than done, but here are some things that could help when getting into a new relationship. 

Remind yourself of your worth, and do it often

When getting into a new relationship, it’s important to understand how much you deserve and keep up those expectations throughout the duration of the relationship. Not only will this help you avoid any further hurt, but it will also help you let go of past experiences.

When you are constantly reminded of how much you are worth, it makes it easier to identify situations where you are not treated with the respect and kindness you deserve. 

Consider every new relationship as a blank slate 

It’s easy to let previous relationship experiences taint future ones. But it’s important to remember that no relationship is the same, nor is the person.

Be honest with yourself when it comes to red flags while going into a relationship, but also allow yourself to trust the other person you are interested in.

Don’t let your past relationships sabotage your future ones. If someone wants to pursue a relationship with you, there is a valid reason why. 

Before anything, learn how to be single and find solace in that

The most important advice when it comes to letting things go is to do it by yourself. Learn how to be confident and happy with your relationship with yourself before finding a new one.

Ultimately, this makes it easier to let things go, because if you can be secure in the person you are while single, you can be secure in your future relationships.

Although letting things go is a long process, or a very short one depending on who you are asking, it’s a process we all have to go through when growing and figuring out what we like and dislike in relationships. 

A version of this article originally appeared here on


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