Article By Toketemu Ohwovoriole
~ NOVEMBER 2021 ~ When two characters are about to have sex in books and movies, they appear to be all hot and ready as soon as they go through the bedroom doors, but this doesn’t always happen in reality.
While some days you might not even make it to the bedroom before ripping off your partner’s clothes, on other days, you might not be in the mood, no matter what they say or do.
While it’s perfectly fine to forgo sex when you are not in the mood, there are tips you could try to get your libido fired up because sometimes, even when everything is correct, you might not be in the mood for sex.
This article looks into why you might not be in the mood for sex and some quick fun tips that can get you in the mood for a roll in the hay in no time.
Why You Might Not Be in the Mood for Sex
Exploring why you might not be in the mood for sex is the key to discovering how to fix it. Trying out tips and tricks to get in the mood might only be frustratingly futile when you can’t figure out why you aren’t in the mood for sex.
Some possible culprits behind your low or reduced libido include:
- Being stressed
- Dealing with relationship issues
- Having depression2
- You are pregnant, breastfeeding, or going through menopause
- You are on medication (like an antidepressant) that’s causing lowered libido as a side effect
If you suspect that any of the above situations or a situation beyond your control is responsible for your low libido, then you should speak to a doctor about it.
8 Tips to Get You in the Mood for Sex
Now that you know what might be causing your low libido, you can work to fix it. You’ll need to speak to your medical doctor or healthcare provider about it if you think your low libido is the result of a medical condition. However, if it’s caused by things that are more in your control, like stress or tiredness, here are a couple of tips that can help get you in the mood for sex.
Take Care of Yourself First
It’s hard to get in the mood and enjoy sex when you don’t feel your best. You might be going through a phase where you feel tired all the time, burned out, or just not sexy. All of this can affect your sex mood.
Start by looking into eating a healthier diet and exercising regularly. Make time for yourself, where you just relax and reconnect with yourself. Research shows that exercising regularly can increase your libido.
Kick any bad habits you might have, like smoking frequently or drinking too much alcohol, and you may find that your libido bounces back in no time.
Try New Things
Sometimes, you are not in the mood for sex because you are bored or restless. This is especially common with people who have long-term partners. You can renew your sex lives by trying something neither of you has tried before. This could be introducing toys into your sex life or roleplaying.
You could also try switching up your environment. Booking a room in a fancy hotel for a night or two can put a spark back into your sex life that you didn’t even realize was missing.
Make Time for Sex
Penning down a particular time in your schedule to have sex might not seem like a fun thing to do, but in our fast-paced world, it can make a significant difference in your sex life.
Many couples find that they have sex as an afterthought, probably at the end of a long day. Making time for it ensures that you prepare your mind and body for the activity and take the time to enjoy it.
Manage Your Stress
It’s hard to get in the mood for sex or even enjoy it when you are under a lot of stress. While simply saying eliminate stressors from your life is easier said than done, you can apply certain techniques to help you manage your stress levels.
Create a regular exercise routine, meditate, and practice breathing exercises to help you manage your stress levels and boost your libido.
One of the most important things you can do to keep your stress levels low is getting enough sleep at night. When you don’t get enough sleep, it affects how you operate throughout the day and in the bedroom.
Remember or Discover What Turns You On
Sometimes all you need to get going is to remember the things that turn you on. You can do this by engaging in a hot and heavy sexting session with your partner some hours before you have sex. You could also try reading or watching something erotic.
If your partner is up to it, you can bring them in on it and watch or read it together; before you know it, you’ll have your hands all over each other.
Masturbation is a great way to get your body going when you are not in the mood. No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, no one can know your body better than yourself. Relax and touch yourselves in the places that you like to be touched. To keep it interesting, you can keep doing this and stopping yourself just before you orgasm, then let your partner come in later to finish you off.
Switch Up Your Sex Timetable
If you find that you and your partner only have sex at night, at the end of a long day, this might be the reason you’ve not been in the mood for sex. Having sex at night when you have a particularly busy life can seem tedious. Instead, make time for some morning sex for the next couple of weeks.
Having sex first thing in the morning after you’ve both gotten enough sleep and feel well-rested can be a great way to improve your libido.
A Word From Verywell
It’s perfectly normal to sometimes not be in the mood for sex. If you’ve been experiencing low libido, take some time to figure out what you enjoy about sex and what gets you in the mood. Don’t pressure yourself when you do this. Take your time to explore your sexuality either by yourself or with your partner. If you’ve been experiencing prolonged periods of low libido, this might be a sign of an underlying condition, and you should speak to a professional about it.
A version of this article originally appeared here on verywellmind.com