~ AUGUST 2022 ~
In an ideal world, the romantic relationships we create with our partners would be happy, healthy, and full of light. But as we all know, that’s not always the case.
Only a few things in life shatter this illusion as quickly as being cheated on by someone you trust. Worst of all, it can make you lose faith in the whole concept of love, your future partners, and sometimes even yourself.
It’s difficult for a person to move on from the whirlwind of emotions they carry after facing infidelity, but one thing that helps to embark on a healing journey is giving a voice to your experiences. So in a bid to provide a safe space for the heart-aching souls out there, Redditor DEDCMDM94 reached out to the Ask Reddit community: “What is your ‘accidentally caught your spouse’ cheating horror story?” they asked, and thousands of people opened up in the thread about their gut-wrenching tales.
From accidentally reading unfortunate texts to catching your SO red-handed, we’ve gathered some of the most upsetting, infuriating, and wild responses to share with you all. So continue scrolling and prepare yourselves for some relationship-changing stories. If you’re up for it, share your own experiences with us in the comments, we’re here to listen.
It’s so classic and pathetic it will sound sitcomy, but I found long blond hair in our bed. I’m a short haired brunette. He had a buzzcut. When confronted he shrugged and said ” Well, what are you gonna do about it, anyway, dump me ? you can’t, we have a shared lease, so suck it up”.
Guess who got dumped the very same day with the help of a very nice, understanding and outraged landlord that rescinded the lease?
My husband changed his cell phone from our joint plan to hers. Verizon sent me an email confirming the change and the account his line was added to, which included her name. I asked him, and he lied. I looked her up on Facebook, and it turns out they had just celebrated their 2 year dating anniversary. We had just celebrated 8 years of marriage.
Found my wife’s notebook. Written on the first page was a 10-step plan detailing how she was going to leave me for another guy.
I turned it into one step.
Lewandowski explained that cheating occurs for a variety of reasons, “but one of the most prominent is not feeling like your current relationship meets your needs. Those needs could be sexual, intellectual, emotional, or a need for personal growth.”
Saw his mum post a picture of her new grandchild on facebook, sure as hell didn’t come from my vagina.
Not me but a medical resident who I met on rotation recently. One of the nicest guys I ever met, super intelligent and hardworking, and training to be a trauma surgeon by humble as they come. He had been married for 2 years to his wife. One night he gets off a 30 hour call early and heads home to surprise his wife with some flowers and her favorite dessert (it was the anniversary of the day they first met). Only to find her in bed with a random dude.
He was so exhausted and confused, he didn’t know what to do and just left and went back to the hospital. I saw him at 5AM, sitting in the parking lot, hunched over crying. He didn’t even have his phone with him, he was just sitting there. Man, nothing breaks your heart more than seeing a grown man cry, it’s not something you see often. We called his dad up and he came and picked him up, the guy ended up taking a leave from his residency. Turns out, it wasn’t the wife’s first time sleeping around. Hope he gets back on his feet, he will make an amazing physician.
Mt St Augustine erupted in Alaska in 1986. They had to evacuate all planes out of Elmendorf AFB due to ash in the air. This sent my unit home from Korea 3 days early. I got home at 2 AM and there was a guy sleeping next to my wife in our bed.
“Cheating is also a crime of opportunity in which it’s more likely when people believe they won’t get caught,” he added. Well, the times of catching partners betraying our trust in the act is a thing of the past. Nowadays, we have the digital world at our fingertips that expands opportunities for different types of unfaithfulness and makes this phenomenon more common than ever. But at the same time, it makes it easier for the offenders to get exposed.
In 2021, Health Testing Centers polled 441 people to get to the bottom of how frequent cheating in relationships actually is. The responses revealed that a little over 46% of participants in monogamous relationships said they had affairs. One in four also explained they cheated and admitted it to their partner.
I didn’t “accidentally” catch him, someone purposefully mailed me a letter.
One day, I recieved an anonymous letter that stated my boyfriend of 7 years was seeing another woman. This letter was said to be from a friend of a different woman he was seeing. I confronted him and he denied (of course).
I checked his emails and found google messages from a third woman. I found out he was cheating with three different women for five years. Like why even bother to be in a relationship at that point.
F**k you Alex.
My mom’s best friend went to have lunch with one of her other friends from the church choir, to meet that woman’s new boyfriend.
Surprise. It was my boyfriend.
One of my former co-workers loaded in a SD card with a scanned project file on it. he put it into the conference room PC we were treated to naked pics of his wife f*****g another guy. we were just stunned. this was in a senior budgetary meeting with the outside accountants and auditors. and he was sitting right there and we were looking at his wife and another guy going at it. I reached over and shut the projector off. nobody said anything. he got up and walked out and drove off in his car. left his phone and laptop sitting on the table. he wound up driving to his parents house 3 states away. he was gone for a week.
“Our survey data suggest that more than half of relationships — 54.5% — broke up immediately after one partner admitted to cheating. Meanwhile, 30% of these relationships attempted to stay intact but resulted in a breakup later on,” the researchers wrote.
Some couples were not ready to give up on their bond and just leave, so they decided to give their relationship another chance. While regaining trust, especially after infidelity, is far from an easy task, 61% of marriages and 47.5% of relationships from the survey implemented rules after the incident. The rules include things like looking through the partner’s phone, avoiding certain friends, having limitations when it comes to going out, allowing partners to have access to social media accounts, and other things that would minimize the chances of more affairs.
Walked in on my girlfriend while she was having sex with another guy. “What are you doing here?!” she says. “You gave me a key, remember? I ended up not working today and wanted to surprise you.”
15 years later she reaches out, leaves me a message that she’d like to talk. I figure she’s doing some 12-step thing or something and wants to make amends.
Nope. She wanted to try and sell me on Amway.
My husband had been really nasty to me recently, and we got into a huge fight the night before he went on a business trip. By morning we had sort of made up, but I was still salty. He always texts me to tell me when his plane lands and normally I respond, but I was still so mad that I decided to ignore him. I had never done that before, so he called me to ask what was wrong. I said, ‘Right now, I’m as mad at you as I’ve ever been.’ He mistakenly assumed I had found out about the multiple online affairs he was having and accidentally blurted everything out.
I caught my ex thanks to f*****g Pokemon Go of all things.
She mentioned Pokemon Go was using lots of her data. I explained that in her settings she could see how much data an app was using. I proceeded to show her and proved to her it wasn’t by pointing out Tinder was using much more data…
It was sad but also funny the way it went down
I’ve posted this before but it’s still funny to remember.
Relationship expert Lewandowski added that when we think of catching our partner cheating, we often envision sexual and physical affairs, but that’s not always the case. “We should also be aware of the potential for emotional infidelity where our partner becomes close and emotionally intimate with another person,” he explained. “Sometimes that may be ‘hiding in plain sight’ because we aren’t considering it a potential form of cheating.”
Went to log into email and a suggested one that I didn’t recognize popped up. I answered all his security questions, and reset his password to find emails between him and the neighbor. We were in therapy to recover from him cheating with her and there they were waxing poetic about their love and when I’d be out of the house so they could be together. The actual horror sorry is that our 7 year old daughter is the one who accidently caught them originally by walking into our bedroom while I was at work.
2 weeks ago I sent a message to a mutual friend asking to borrow a router. He didn’t answer, but no worries he lives nearby. I’ll just stop by and grab it.
I pull up to his house and start heading down the driveway. He has a long country driveway so it’s a few seconds before I see my car ( I drive a company vehicle during the day ) already there.
My heart began to sink, but they are friends, and business partners, maybe it’s nothing. I got out of my van and look up to see the other guy shirtless in his bedroom.
At this point my heart is down on my stomach and I am visibly shaking. I go in and immediately head upstairs. He is alone, now clothed.
I say ” I came to borrow the router, also have you seen my wife? The car is here” He then proceeds to give the worst improv I’ve ever heard. “Huh? no, she was here at some point though”. Whatever, I knew she was there I just wanted him to admit it.
I go down, take the router, and head back to the van where I finally encounter my wife topless trying to sneak around the side of his house.
And now here I am
Edit: to all those wondering, I kept the router.
Edit 2: it’s a plunge router for woodworking.
Whether it’s emotional or physical adultery, being cheated on is extremely heartbreaking. It takes a huge toll on our emotional well-being, making us question our every decision and even blame ourselves for our loved one’s actions. It’s especially awful when it catches us completely blindfolded, having no suspicions about the hurtful activities happening behind our backs.
“Experiencing infidelity certainly has a negative impact on our well-being,” Lewandowski noted. “Having a partner cheat on you represents one of the most profound violations of trust in relationships. It’s an experience that can alter how a person navigates their future relationships by making them more jealous, more concerned about being hurt and about their partner abandoning them,” he said, adding that the effects of a partner’s infidelity tend to stick with us for a long time.
I get in my boyfriend’s car. The seat was pushed all the way back and there’s a bracelet on the floor.
First thing I asked was if he had cleaned off the seat when he had finished.
He said yes. Then he realized he was talking to his girlfriend, not one of the many friends who knew about his affair.
The best part is we were all packed up for a weekend out of town for his cousin’s wedding. His parents were in the car behind us. I went. We didn’t speak the entire weekend.
Me and my girlfriend were long distance and she had a habit of going quiet sometimes. She’d been texting me for the last few weeks but had made excuses not to come visit.
I went to a party that my friend had organized. I met a friend of his who told me he had a new girlfriend. I was surprised he hadn’t mentioned her, so I asked who she was. This lady introduced me to my girlfriend. She’d told everyone that we broke up, and had been dating my friend for about a month. She didn’t bother to tell me.
Came back from a trip four hours early. My Wife was supposed to be at work still. Opened the front door to see her sitting topless on the couch making out with a coworker.
He ran out the door; she ran into a bathroom and locked the door.
Sat on that couch for about an hour because I couldn’t think of what else to do. Finally just up and left, so she could come out of the bathroom and put a shirt on.
Cheating and its consequences can turn our whole world upside down, so people usually find it hard to navigate their feelings and get a grip on their emotions. “When dealing with this experience, keep in mind that it’s ultimately more about the partner and who they are than you,” Lewandowski advised.
“Going forward, it’s important to continue to trust future partners and be willing to make yourself vulnerable because those are key elements to healthy relationships. Granted, you may need to keep reminding yourself that the vast majority of partners are trustworthy and are unlikely to cheat, but you don’t want to allow one bad experience to undermine your future happiness as well,” the relationship expert concluded.
One day my husband was getting ready for work and I saw him packing his GoPro case so he could take it to work. I thought, “hmmm that’s weird, why would he be taking it to work?”
So, when he jumped into the shower, I replaced his GoPro with mine and thought I’d look through the files when he leaves for work. My suspicions were on alert because he had just taken a trip to the PI with some friends. A guys only weekend kind of thing.
Fire up the camera and found 3 videos….
Lo and behold… there he is in all his glory barebacking a Filipino prostitute.
Looking and posing for the camera like he’s some f*****g porn star.
I was enraged but also looking at this fool acting like he’s a f*****g adult film star was hilarious.
Obligatory not me, but a friend. And I’ve posted this story twice before:
In the early 2000s, my friend’s husband was deployed to Iraq. Together, they had a 10 year old son and a happy marriage. One day, while he was deployed, I am at home when another one of our friends calls and screams “Holy S**t, turn on the news right now!” I turn it on to watch a human interest story about a fundraiser at a high school 30 miles away. They’re doing Relay for Life or something, and as a “surprise” to one of the participants, they had her “husband” and father of her two grade school children do a video call from Iraq, and displayed it on the football jumbotron.
There on our local news is my friend’s husband, telling another woman and two kids how he loves them and can’t wait to get back home to them. The news eats it up, about what a great guy he is.
That night, our group of friends convened and decided how we would tell her. I was nominated, so the next day I had to sit her down and tell her what we saw. She called the news station, and they were happy to let her come in and watch the story. They were also incredibly apologetic.
Story has a somewhat crappy ending, I’m afraid. She called him out on his bs, they started divorce proceedings, and he went on to legally marry the mother of his other kids, and mostly ignored his son from the first marriage.
I woke up on Christmas day to my partner’s alarm going off. He was the type to have 17 alarms set five minutes apart to make sure he got out of bed. I went into his phone to turn them all off and saw a message preview from his baby mama that was a bit too flirty. I checked and he’d been sleeping with her for a month, including the day before (Christmas eve), while I was at home with his parents and their child, preparing Christmas dinner and he was ‘working.’
Not me, but a friend was watching an NBA game on TV and saw her (now) ex in the stands since he had seats that were close to the court and visible from the broadcast camera. He was supposedly attending with a male colleague but had his arm wrapped around a woman.
Not my relationship, but my boyfriend’s Mom took me out to lunch to get to know me better. We really kicked it off and had a great lunch.
She had to run home because she forgot to grab a gift for a shower we had to attend after and we found her husband ducking the neighbor on the couch… She was mortified and never the same around me again.
Her son and I split because of that (he didn’t think his Dad was wrong because his mom gained weight- as in she was now 140 5’6” and not 120), so I never found out what happened.
Well, he wasn’t my spouse, but he had proposed to me that morning. He said he had to go into work to cover a shift, but when he didn’t call me for his dinner break, as he usually did when he worked that shift, I got worried (He was an LEO) and called him.
Someone else picked up his phone, explained that the “guy whose phone this is, yeah, I think he went up to a room with his girlfriend, we have it down here waiting for him”. They were at a hotel. Turns out he used it as an excuse to sleep with another woman he knew from when they were in the academy together and had been seeing each other for awhile, she was married.
The next morning, when he came to pick me up so we could get our parents to take them to brunch and announce the news, I refused to go with him. In hindsight, I should’ve waited until we were all at brunch and he had paid the bill to confront him for the free food, but I was young and dumb.
I Had been on the road for work. Was supposed to be 10 days, got to go home a day early. Had a friend pick me up at the airport to surprise my wife and 2 children ( 2 years and 8 months ). Walked into my ex and her ‘coffee friend’ snuggling on the couch. With. My. Kids. In. The. Same. Room.
I was livid. Of course she denied everything. We split up weeks later.
*edit* added years after 2 to avoid all the age questions
I came home early from work, on Christmas eve mind you. As I pulled into the parking lot, I had a weird thought of wanting to see if there were any cars I didn’t recognize. Thought it was a silly thought, so I parked my car and went inside. As I walked to the top of the stairs towards our bedroom, my husband immediately walks out and closes the door behind him.
I had to ask him twice if there was a girl in there and he finally said yes. He also made me stand in the kitchen so I couldn’t see who she was as she walked out.
Took me three years before I could enjoy Christmas again.
I caught my now ex-husband. Something was way off, I was 6 months pregnant with our second child and my best friend at the time was also off.
Picked up his phone at 2AM, when it went off and found a secret password locked messenger (GO messenger?) Password was his birthday, real winner. I found over 7k messages along with photos, some insinuating I was present with either one of them while they were messaging. I was upset and woke him up. He locked himself in the bathroom and pulled the attempted suicide card. There’s another year of trying to work it out shenanigans after this incident but I’m so glad that chapter in my life is over.
Edit: added attempted
Long story short, I suspected something for a few months. Like an idiot, I opened her phone while she was asleep and found exactly what I was looking for, like you always do when searching through someone else’s phone. Even with all of the texts right there to see she still lied about it multiple times. She eventually admitted to it but downplayed it heavily.
She told me about two nights ago that he asked her out on a date and she said “I had to say no” and was visibly sad about it.
In the process of getting a divorce now. Hurts like hell.
I found out my ex-boyfriend (dated from 15-18) had been cheating on me when, upon walking into the apartment he shared with his mother and two elementary-aged sisters, the youngest sister asked me “when did you leave?”
I asked her “when was I here?”
She responded, “You were here all night. I could hear you talking to [ex’s name].”
I had not been there for two days at that point. I asked him what she was talking about and he blew bubbles for a few minutes before confessing.
Edit: not sure if everyone knows “blew bubbles” means having nothing to say yet still talking. It may be local slang. Yes, though, I do think the joke is funny!