Article By David Akiva
~ September 2021~ Charlotte and Finn thought they were on the verge of a painful and expensive divorce. They came for couples counseling, seeking marriage advice because they had fallen out of love … or so they thought.
They spoke of having frequent arguments and complete emotional shut-downs. And to make matters worse, there had been no physical intimacy between them for longer than either wanted to admit.
Charlotte broke down into tears describing the disconnection in their relationship. Finn quickly shut down, not knowing what to do or say, with a look of real fear on his face.
While their issues happen to be some of the most common reasons for divorce, this kind of “we think we’ve fallen out of love couple” is actually my favorite to work with.
All that hurt, anger, and frustration are, in my opinion, indications that underneath it all, a couple may actually still be quite deeply in love.
I’ve discovered that, with a little help, many couples can quickly harness their frustrated emotional needs and motivate themselves to quick reconnect with each other.
All they have to do is refocus the energy currently being spend on frustration directly into re-building profound emotional and physical intimacy, as well as into improving their communication skills and connection.