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This Is What A Polyamorous Breakup Really Looks Like

Faima Bakar

~ August, 2021 ~ Breakups are brutal. But when they involve more than two people, they can become all the more complicated. Polyamorous couples especially know the difficulty of walking away from relationships.

For dad Shai Fishman, who realised he wanted to open up his marriage of 21 years, it started off well – his wife agreed to become a polyamorous couple. While parenting their children, 47-year-old Fishman, who now runs workshops on poly loving, lived with his wife, her partner, and his own partner.

But when his wife decided she wanted to be monogamous with her new partner, not him, Fishman was devastated. It was the end of their marriage. Fishman continued his own relationship, and is now involved with two separate women who each also date other people.

In the years since he first began exploring polyamory, he has seen relationships form and finish. Each time he has gone through the motions of a breakup, while ultimately accepting there are other more suitable people for him.

A version of this article originally appeared here on


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