People Are Sharing Wedding Moments That Made Them Say “They Are Not Going To Last” And YIKES
I do…not have a lot of confidence in these relationships!
~ July, 2021 ~ This weekend in a viral thread, redditor u/Olya_roo asked, “What wedding moment made you think: ‘They are not going to last long?'” and, WHEW BUDDY, did people come ready to share the biggest nuptial “YIKES” they’ve ever witnessed. So here are just a few of the biggest I DO (not have a lot of confidence in these relationships) stories that were shared:
1. “When the entire bridal party, including the parents of the wedded couple, entered into a betting pool for how long the marriage would last — at the wedding reception.”
“If I recall correctly, the best man won at 14 months.”
2. “When the maid of honor professed her love for my brother during her toast at my brother’s wedding until her husband walked up to the head table, picked her up, and carried her away before she could embarrass him further.”
“The maid of honor and her husband lasted about three months after that. My brother and his wife on the other hand? They’re still happily married 20 years later.”
3. “When the groom took the stupid cake thing to an extreme. The bride had given him his bite, and mushed a little on his chin and nose. He then took a piece and MASHED it into her face so hard that I was expecting her to end up with a bloody nose.”
“Cake and frosting got up her nose, in her eyes, down the front of her dress, etc. The bride had to go get cleaned up, have her makeup re-done, and was ugly-crying within an hour of saying, ‘I do.’ Meanwhile, the groom didn’t give a fuck.”
4. “When the groom got into a fist fight with the father of the bride. The couple split four months after.”
“Context: The groom and bride’s dad (actually, most people in both of those families, if I’m being honest) had pretty aggressive drinking problems. The father-in-law had always hated the groom. I wasn’t around for what actually set it off, but it ended when the bride got in the middle and took an elbow to the eye.”
5. “When they disappeared for half an hour during the reception. They were both ‘saving themselves for marriage’ and were desperate to bone.”
“Which is a fine thing to want, but it turns out that was more or less the only reason they got married. They made it almost a year.”
6. “When the groom raised his eyebrows and gave her a knowing look during the ‘for richer or for poorer’ portion of their vows.”
“For context, he was a newly drafted pro-athlete, and she was a big fan of his signing bonus.”
7. “When I was at a wedding and a phone went off during the ceremony, in the middle of them exchanging vows — and it was the groom’s.”
“He took the call. They’re divorced now.”
8. “When I was the wedding photographer for a reality TV show. At the end of the night, I was having a few drinks with the film crew when the groom came up to me and one of the producers and said, ‘I think I’ve made a big mistake.'”
“So we tried to be reassuring and told him that it’s natural to second guess such a big decision, to which he replied, ‘No — I mean I think I’m gay.’ I had added them both on Facebook, and the drama the next week was mesmerizing to watch unfold.”
9. “When the groom had a ‘best woman’ instead of a best man.”
“Nothing wrong with that, but her toast left the whole room in an awkward silence afterwards because she was clearly in love with him.”
10. “When, after the ceremony, I saw the groom slap the butt of one of the bridesmaids in the hallway.”
“She laughed and, with a big smile, said, ‘Oh Jeremy, you’ll never change!'”
11. “When the bride and groom did their first dance, then spent the rest of their reception completely apart from each other getting shit-faced with their own separate friend groups.”
“The only other dancing all night was the bride dancing with her high school friends, the father-daughter dance, and the mother-son dance — during which the groom was crying. The best man’s speech didn’t mention the bride at all and basically boiled down to, ‘You’re married now, but our bond is older and stronger, all of our hunting and fishing trips together are the best thing in our lives, and we can’t wait for more.’ Such a sad, desperate atmosphere. The couple made it a little over one year.”
12. “When the bride disappeared right after dinner for about an hour. After she returned, the groom’s father came up, asked for the mic, and proceeded to announce to the entire place that his son’s new bride was just upstairs sleeping with her ex-boyfriend, and that the marriage was over.”
“I’m a former wedding DJ, so I’ve seen some shit!”
13. “When one of my friends got married, afterwards she looked at me, crying, and asked, ‘What did I do?'”
“They were separated by the time the plane landed for their honeymoon. He was a good guy, and she was a mess. The beta fish in the floral centerpieces lasted longer than the marriage.”
14. “When we noticed during the wedding that the soon-to-be mother-in-law of the bride was insufferable. Every chance she got, she made it about her and her son, the groom.”
“The mother-in-law had the photographer follow her around for most of the wedding. She was always around her son, and always touching him, too. It was weird. We joked that all three of them were going on the honeymoon together.
She gave an hour-long toast about how she was still the most important person in her son’s life. I think she said something like, ‘You may be his wife, but he’ll always be mommy’s little boy.’ She also went into way too much detail about how she breastfed him and changed his diapers. She danced with her son more than he danced with the bride — and I’m not talking, like, 60/40. Like 90% of the time it was mother-son dancing. At one point she was even bumping and grinding on him.
At no point during the wedding did my girlfriend and I believe the bride was going to put up with this crazy MIL for more than a couple of years. Sure enough, the bride got pregnant soon after the wedding and, a couple months after the baby was born, she filed for divorce.”
15. “When the groom went in for the kiss after their vows, but the bride presented her cheek instead. They divorced less than a year later.”
“That was after it was discovered that she had been cheating on him pretty much their entire relationship.”
16. “When I was sitting at the miscellaneous table with all the randoms, and the girl next to me — who turned out to be the groom’s ex — drunkenly admitted to sleeping with the groom just a few months prior.”
17. “When my wife got invited to a client’s daughter’s wedding, and the couple were both drama students — and many in the bridal party were also drama students.”
“The maid of honor’s toast consisted of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom along the lines of, ‘If it couldn’t be me, I’m glad it’s my best friend that’s marrying you!’ The best man’s speech was a lusty declaration of, ‘If it doesn’t work out, call me, babe…like all the previous times you’ve called me!’ The other toasts were similarly weird. A guy at the table I was seated at was a friend of the bride and told me he was ‘this close’ to standing up during the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ part.”
18. And finally: “When two friends of mine got married, and — during the part when they gave their vows — the groom started laughing at the bit about being ‘faithful.'”
“Oops!”
A version of this article originally appeared here on buzzfeed.com
