A gentleman’s guide to a healthy relationship | Gentleman’s Journal

~ June, 2021 ~ Healthy relationships are a bit like a summer salad. Everyone loves them, and everyone tries to get them right; but everyone has slightly different ideas when it comes to what, exactly, should go into them. What, after all, is a ‘healthy relationship’? Presumably we’re all united on the idea that it should constitute love, trust, laughter and honesty; but once we’re agreed on the relationship equivalent of the ‘primary colours’, things get a little more subjective.

Some couples need regular space; others thrive on constant companionship. Many couples believe in having arguments, fervently insisting that arguments clear the air and that ‘if there’s a couple out there who’ve never argued, they’re doing something wrong’. Many other couples, however, rub along together perfectly calmly all of the time, preferring to nip any potential disagreements in the bud before they can mutate into a shouting match. Some couples have little-to-nothing in common, providing the living proof that opposites can, indeed, attract; while others prefer to share interests, hobbies and passions with each other.

A healthy relationship is a subjective business, that’s for sure. But there are a few areas on which we can share our collective wisdom; and this wisdom should ensure your relationships (present or future) thrive, blossom and bloom just as successfully as the several house plants we have no doubt you’re taking care of at this very moment (if you’re a millennial, you must have a house plant. Right?)

We’re never one for beating around the bush, and we’re certainly not going to start now. The cheating thing. Let’s get that addressed first and foremost; because cheating can be the greatest enemy of all with regard to a healthy, thriving relationship.

Cheating is bad, and we certainly don’t condone it. But it doesn’t necessarily have to result in a break-up. Many believe the old adage of ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ — and we agree that this is frequently true. Often, the healthiest solution for any relationship in which one person has cheated is to end it: because the trust is broken. Certainly, if the cheating occurs more than once we’d advise getting out of there with all possible haste — and if you’re tempted to check your partner’s phone, follow them around or other such questionable behaviours, we’re going to be frank with you: you’re in the wrong relationship.

On the other hand: if one of you has cheated, but you both desperately want to stay together, it’s not compulsory to break up. What is compulsory is to talk about it. You both need to understand why the cheating happened at all. It may be that it was indicative of an issue in the relationship, that you can now both look towards solving. Bizarrely, cheating can be an impetus to fix an existing problem.

It’s your call, though, gents: at the end of the day, it’s a gut feeling. Only you know what’s right for you.