Article By Cosmo Luce
~ APRIL 2022 ~
You don’t have to be a poet laureate to come up with romantic texts to send to your partner, but finding the right words to properly appreciate them can still sometimes feel like a bit of a challenge.
If you have cold feet about saying “I love you” over text message — or even if you haven’t gotten to that level yet — don’t worry. There’s more than one way to say “I love you” without actually saying it. The goal is to make sure your partner knows how strongly you feel about them, and what better way to remind them than by brightening their day with a quick text?
When it comes to how to be romantic over text, a sweet love message during the work day can give your partner major butterflies — be it it’s a quick “ILY” or a funny Instagram post that made you think of them. You can send them a song that reminds you of them, a quote you read that reflects how they make you feel, or a funny meme about something you know they’d appreciate. All of these romantic messages communicate love, even if they don’t explicitly say it outright. If you still don’t know where to start, here are some ideas to help you begin your own sweet text serenade.
1. “It was so hard to get out of bed this morning! Wish I could spend like 10 more hours in your arms right now.”
One way to send a romantic text is to express what you wish you were doing at that moment. Waking up in your partner’s arms is euphoric until you have to tear yourself out of bed and go to work. Let your lover know how badly you miss them and wish you could hit snooze — or something of the like.
This is especially romantic and meaningful if you send it at a time you know lines up with their commute to work, or something else monotonous or tough in their day. “Sometimes it’s not the message that’s thoughtful per se, but the time at which you send it,” breakup and dating specialist Cherlyn Chong from Steps to Happyness tells Elite Daily.
2. “Currently smiling just thinking about you.”
Simply let them know when you think of them. If you find yourself grinning alone on your lunch break thinking about something cute they said, or telling your co-workers on Slack about the sweet surprise dinner they planned for you last night, text your partner about it. They’ll appreciate it so much more than your co-workers, for sure. After all, it’s the small things that matter when it comes to love.
“The smaller acts of kindness are the foundation from which the larger gestures top,” Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, previously told Elite Daily. “Without the foundation of kindness, caring, and respect, the grand gestures often fall short and have less meaning.”
3. “Every time we are together I feel so happy! You bring so much joy to my life.”
Love can be hard to find, so tell them how they make you feel. Don’t be afraid to express exactly how much value your partner brings to your life. This text is a cute way to let them know that even if you appear cool, calm, and collected around them, you’re actually giddy on the inside.
“It’s important to do little things in a relationship — it is those caring behaviors that can make all the difference in showing consistent thought and love,” Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, MS, LCPC, certified imago therapist, and co-founder of The Marriage Restoration Project, previously told Elite Daily. “Many of these acts can help your partner feel cared for and loved even more than a more dramatic behavior or gift.”
4. “You look so good right now 😉.”
Even if you are within physical sight of each other, sending texts can be romantic and fun. A cheeky surprise message will definitely warrant a smile or laugh.
“Another thoughtful and surprising way to send a message is when the person is in the same room as you are and busy doing something else, so they do not expect your text,” Chong says. If you’re both on your phones or reading while relaxing at home, shooting your partner an out-of-nowhere text will be a welcomed flirty surprise.
5. “Just thinking about you is enough to make my heart race.”
Lean into the cheesiness. Who cares if love is kind of corny? It’s way better to give in to all the feels and flirt with your partner than to let your romance fizzle. “Flirt with your words of kindness,” said Klapow. “Flirting doesn’t have to be sexual in nature. Being kind, being polite, and being engaged in conversation — these are all ways of flirting.”
6. “Remember that time we drove three hours just to get donuts? That was one of my favorite days ever.”
Recalling a sweet or funny shared memory is an incredibly cute and thoughtful way to say “I love you” in a text without actually saying it — but definitely meaning it. “It helps bring both partners back in time and feel those feelings again,” Chong says. “The more we feel those feelings for our partners, the more connected we feel. Better yet, recalling a sweet memory can give the inspiration to create a new one!”
7. “Confession: You’re the first thing on my mind every morning. Hope you have a great day!”
Good morning and goodnight texts are go-to romantic texts for a reason. There’s something so thoughtful about knowing you’re on someone’s mind as they begin or end their day. “If you send a good morning text and a goodnight text to your partner, you’ll create a consistent flow in the relationship that builds healthy communication,” online dating expert Julie Spira previously told Elite Daily. “If you say, ‘good morning handsome’ or ‘hello beautiful, how’s your day going?’ you’re guaranteed to put a smile on their face.”
8. “I think you might be the best, most romantic, nicest person I’ve ever met. Plus you make a mean pasta dish.”
What else feels as comforting as a relationship where you both know how the other feels with complete confidence? When you can put all your cards on the table, you’ll finally feel like you have the freedom to gush about them, to them. Don’t be shy about celebrating your lover at every opportunity.
“The more you focus on what you love and appreciate about your partner, the more of those qualities (plus others) you’ll evoke from your partner,” Lisa Concepcion, certified dating and relationship expert and founder of LoveQuest Coaching, previously told Elite Daily. “Also, when you offer feedback from a place of love and not judgment and practice unconditional love of yourself, you’ll strengthen the love in your relationship.”
9. “Thank you for bringing me joy every single day. I love being around you.”
You don’t have to plan some grand, romantic gesture to express how much you appreciate someone. A simple “thank you” for something that they do lets the other person feel all of your love and gratitude without burying it in anything too performative or over-the-top. “Gratitude and appreciation are like water and sunlight for the garden of a healthy, enduring relationship,” Concepcion said.
10. “Staycation this weekend? I want to cuddle for 48 hours straight.”
Rough day or long week? Recruit your partner and turn things around by texting them how pumped you are to cuddle, watch movies, and order pizza together. If you don’t already have plans, texting is a great way to get your partner excited by suggesting something. “Texting is one of the best ways of keeping a relationship interesting — you can use it to tease, tempt, and flirt while you are apart,” dating coach and relationship expert James Preece previously told Elite Daily. “It’s a great opportunity to build on your chemistry and get them keen to see you again.”
11. “I heard this song earlier and it really reminded me of you.”
You don’t have to come up with cute, lovey-dovey texts all on your own. Plenty of people have said it beautifully with music. Send along a song that reminds you of your lover. Better yet, make them a personal playlist. As with sending your partner anything that is special and curated just for them — a TikTok, a meme, or a funny tweet — it’s the thought of them that means the most.
“The more we can ‘micro bond,’ where we engage in small actions that keep us connected and strengthen the connection, the more effective and lasting the bigger bonding moments are,” Klapow said.
12. “I really love that you leave just the right amount of coffee in the pot for me each morning.”
As far as romantic texts go, communicating to your partner what you appreciate that they do and how they interact with you — even small things — is a great way to convey love. “Focus on the positive things your partner does and reinforce them,” Spira explained. “For example, say, ‘I love it when you call me before I go to sleep at night’ or ‘I love our pillow talk conversations’. This sends a message to your partner that they are effectively communicating with you and that you appreciate them.” And communication isn’t just through words — consider all of the love languages as forms of communication.
13. “I’ve been thinking a lot about our conversation last night. I love that you are so open and understanding with me. ❤️”
The deeper you are in love with someone, the closer you get emotionally. Reinforce that bond by letting your partner know that you enjoy being open and honest with each other through a thoughtful text. “Everyone wants to be heard and understood, so it’s also more important to be a good listener than to monopolize every conversation,” Spira said. “Just saying,’I hear you and appreciate that you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings with me’ will improve your communication skills.”
Remember: Your partner is with you because they care about you, too. Try not to overthink an “I love you” text, because, pssst, they probably feel the same way. Just hearing from you will make them smile.
Cherlyn Chong, breakup and dating specialist from Steps to Happyness
Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show
Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, MS, LCPC, Certified Imago Therapist, and co-founder of The Marriage Restoration Project
Julie Spira, online dating expert
Lisa Concepcion, certified dating and relationship expert and founder of LoveQuest Coaching
James Preece, dating coach and relationship expert
A version of this article originally appeared here on elitedaily.com